May. 20, 2017

the fortress of strength

      [This is me, after barely surviving a workout at the gym.]

The heaviest I have ever weighed was 233 pounds, and the furtherest back I can remember weighing that was on the day of my Mom's 75th surprise birthday party in February of 1994.  From that time to the present, I have lost pounds and gained pounds, always returning back to 233.

 Being the professional dieter that I am, and I don't mean professional as in somebody pays me to lose weight (I wish!), it means that I have tried just about every diet concept and just about every diet product ever invented, searching for ways to look better and to feel better about myself.

 I weighed yesterday morning, and am now at 200 lbs.  That's a good even number.  I prefer even numbers. Next stop is the 100's!  With..

. trying to stay away from fast food, fried food, potato chips, Cheetos, hamburgers, hot dogs;

. eating Nutrisystem items;

. eating at scheduled times:  9am, 11am, 1pm, 3pm, 5:30pm, 8pm, 10pm;

. praying, meditating, reading;

. emailing and talking to family and friends;

. joining a gym;

. working out with Becky, my personal trainer (Yes!) twice a week, and attending Devera's exercise classes at the college;

. having food that is good for me on hand and ready to grab it and go;

. researching ways to get fit and trying those ways that work best for me;

. driving a different way home from the gym, so I don’t have to pass by the very well lit, brand, spanking new Whataburger in La Porte……, I have gotten my weight down to 200 pounds.  That's a nice even number.  I’m a fan of even numbers.

 It’s comical how we professional dieters call losing weight our journey or an adventure, and exercising is something that we must make ourselves do, because if we don’t, we are failures. 

 In reality or basically or honestly or truthfully or seriously (I hate the way some feel they must clarify a sentence before they say it in order to let everyone know that what they’re about to say is for real)… eating food that is good for us, not eating too much of said food and exercising should not be known as dieting or a journey or an adventure.  It should simply be our way of taking care of ourselves, of caring about our bodies, of loving ourselves.

 Now, you know that you’re not going to leave one of my blogs without hearing some snarkiness from me… I go to Devera’s Total Body Workout at the college on Wednesdays, so Becky works me out on Mondays and Fridays, because that gives my body a day of rest in between workouts.  Well, I’ll tell ya right here and now, Mondays at the gym SUCK big time!  Everybody and their dog is at the gym on Mondays!  It’s wall-to-wall people!  The smell of a gym is questionable when just a few people are there, but when it’s packed, oh good lord! 

 Mondays, I’ll be at the gym and Becky will be making me work out some part of me, and I’ll look around (I’ll look around as well as I can through fogged up glasses), and I’ll want to say to everyone, “What the heck are all you people doing here? Did you eat an entire buffet and feel like you’ve got to take off all your pounds in this one workout?  Why don’t you work out on Tuesdays?  Tuesdays are good nights! I had a hard time finding a parking space when I got here, and there were no exercise bikes to warm up on when I got here!  And it’s freakin’ 8:15pm!  Go home!  Leave this place, but before you do, clean your sweat off the dang machine you just got off of!  Nobody wants to sit in your body fluids!  Have a little class!  Have a little thought for others!!  Man I hate rudeness in people!”

 There, I feel better.  I hope you do too.  Snarky is as snarky does.

 Here’s one more thing I want to throw out there to you all.  I am starting a group of support.  It will be called The Fortress of Strength, maybe.  Don’t laugh!  That’s cool and you know it! 

 Our group will meet once a week for an hour or two.  We will be a support system for each other in whatever way that is necessary.  Here are some rules that we will start with:

  1. Seriously, (Did you notice how I clarified this statement to show that I really, really mean what I’m about to say?), there will be no talk of politics.

  2. No talk of religion.

  3. We will begin each meeting with a minute of silence. In that time, you can pray quietly or meditate or make goofy faces at everybody while they’re praying.  Whatever, just be still for a minute, and don’t be rude.  During this quiet minute, think of ways that you can positively contribute to our group and help somebody out.

  4. A snack will be provided – raw vegetables and fruit.  Also coffee and tea.

  5. What is said in The Fortress, stays in The Fortress.

  6. Men and women, young and old, are welcome.  But no small children, that might possibly become warped by hearing people who want to attend anything called a Fortress of Strength.

  7. No cursing (darn it).

  8. We will stop the group on time.

  9. Bring us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be thin – I’m just kidding. Yes, you can come if you’re tired (I mean who isn’t), but if you’re poor, don’t even think about it.  You know I’m just kidding again, and trying to be funny.  Sorry that it didn’t work.

  10. Please bring your friends, Mothers/Dads, daughters/sons, nieces/nephews, whatever you got.

 We will work out more details each time we meet.  Here’s my email address:  Please let me know if you would like to join our Fortress of Strength or Solitude or Silence… we’ll work that out.


And always remember... Don’t be rude.  You are not alone.  I love you – “Yes, even when I’m a snark, I still love people.”