"Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day you gave it away. This year to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special!" Please, please, for the sake of all that is holy, get this song out of my head!!!! It just repeats and repeats!! I like the song, but not this much!
Old Fart Behavior vs Zen Behavior
When things aren't copacetic with my thinking, I have two mindsets. The first being my old fart way of thinking, and then there's the way that I try to choose how I react to things, I call it zen behavior. For example…
Picture it - Red Lobster, I'm sitting near a guy in his 20's or 30's, who is laying halfway down in his booth, eating his meal while on his cell.
Immediately, the old fart inside me is thinking: "Geez dude, what's up with you? Sit your stupid arse up and eat your stupid food! You think you're cool, but you are not! What kind of an example are you puttin' out there for the kids that are sitting near you? Pretty soon, they'll all want to lay in a booth, be on their cells, and eat! I command that you leave this place and go to your home to lounge, and do not do it right here where everyone can see you! You are ruining my freaking meal! Off with his head!"
Yes, those are actual thoughts that came to my mind. But, and I have a hugemongous one, after my knee jerk old fart reaction, I turn to my zen behavior, which is sometimes very difficult for me, being the old fart that I am.
I take a couple of deep breaths, and think these zen thoughts: "Hmmm. That guy is halfway laying down in that booth there. That's odd, somewhat puzzling and pissing me off, but I'm going to calm myself by thinking a new way, like, maybe he just had bum surgery and is trying to stay off of his bum so that it doesn't hurt so much, or maybe he's just doing his own thing and relaxing in the middle of his meal, while his food goes down. Well, whatever the reason for his stupid behavior, I'm not going to let it bother me and ruin my dinner out. To each his own, I say. Dude, you can stand on your head and feed yourself with your feet, if you feel that you must. I chose to no longer notice you sprawled out there in public, and I am going to think on other things, for I am the Zen Master."
You see how that works? Now, you old farts out there try to be more zen in your reaction to stupid people? Give it a try, won’t you? It helps with the o' blood pressure. Live long and prosper, Namaste.
Remember to call your Mom and Gamma and let 'em know how much they are loved by you. Y'all take care of yourselves and have a happy week! Love you to pieces!