Oct. 15, 2017

Elvis at walmart?

Over the loud speaker at Walmart on Spencer and East Blvd, I heard -- "Elvis, please go to online. Elvis, please go to online."  It put a smile on my face, and I started looking around to see if anyone else got the humor in Elvis being in the building.  Nope, nobody noticed the humor in it.  So, I continued shopping.

 Then, I see this kid stocking shelves, who actually, truly, seriously looked like a young Elvis!  I kid you not!  So, me being the goofball that I am, stopped and asked the boy if he was Elvis.  He said, "No, but I can take you to him.  He's over in the toy area."  I said, “You mean you’re not the Elvis that the announcer told to go online?”  He said, “No.”

 Continuing with my goofballness I said, "Well you look more like Elvis than Elvis does!  Has anyone ever told you that?”  He looked at me funny, replied “No,” and he began to lead me to the toy department to see the other Elvis. 

 I stopped Elvis Not and said that I didn’t want to see the other Elvis, and he just stared at me. I felt so stupid and uncomfortable, can you imagine how Elvis Not felt? And I wished that I hadn't said anything to him.  But, you know me... my stupid mouth just continued on as if I had no control over it, imagine that!  "Seriously though, you look so much like Elvis that I was going to ask you for your autograph."  The poor, sweet kid smiled warily and continued to look at me as if I were from Uranus or some other funny sounding planet. Finally I heard me say, "Well okay then, you have a nice day."  and then I walked away as fast as an old lady with bad knees can walk. 

 Good lord, what makes me do stuff like that? Why do I have to act on what I’m thinking?  I'm thinking it's the old fart in me, maybe.

Later that evening at home, I remembered Elvis Not at Walmart, and I wondered if my going on talking to him like that bordered on sexual harassment?  I mean, I didn’t grab anything of his, but I did go on too long with him.  I’m thinking I’ve gotta get a filter, or a shopping partner who knows to stop me before I make an arse of myself, or maybe I should have my tongue removed, or something!

 One thing about it though, I don't think that clueless boy even knew who Elvis Presley was.

 Here's A Shout Out To: Devera Allen-Scheller. She's the Yoga Stretch and Total Body Workout instructor for Wellness classes at the college.  She once weighed 203 lbs. She lost weight by exercising and eating right, and has kept the weight off for 13 years!  I'm so proud of her, she's quite an inspiration.  One thing I'm really sad about though is that the college ended the Yoga Stretch classes due to low attendance.  There was only one student showing up... me.  Oh well there's still the TBW class, and I guess I’ll have to continue with yoga stretching on my own, at home.  Yeah, right, ha!

 Helpful Hint of the week:  When using a coffee creamer in those little, individual containers, open them away from you. Never say I didn't warn you.

 Thank y'all so much for reading! As you go through this new week that's coming on, please remember the following important things:  you are not alone, "You can take a horse to water, but a pencil has to be led." -Stan Laurel, and best of all... always remember to call your Muther or Grandmuther, cause that would make their day!