Jul. 5, 2016

5 things that tick me off

(1) McDonald's billboard with the sausage biscuit on it.   (2) Bullies - you know who you are.   (3) Remembering everything that happened ions ago, but forgetting what happened 2 seconds ago.  This occurs when you become old, like me.   (4) Itching all over, which also occurs because I'm old.  My ears, nose, eyes, head, middle of my back, where I can't reach to scratch and also in my nether regions itch.  Mostly, the nether itching occurs when I'm in a crowd, and can't do anything about it.  I've seen many a man scratch his nether regions in a crowd, or in an elevator with just the two of us.  I'm not sure if they're scratching themselves or adjusting.  I don't know how guys walk around with those things.  (That was a quote from Seinfeld.)   (5) Moaning whenever I stand up, sit down, walk stairs, breath and any and all other movements.

Here are strategies I use for coping with the above 5 tick offs.  I play the Glad Game--

(1) McD's biscuit:  I find an alternate route, so I don't have to pass by the sausage biscuit sign,  Duh.

(2) I kill bullies with kindness.  If the kindness doesn't settle them down, then say that you're praying for them.  Warning: If the bully is a devout pray person, they might do you harm.  If they aren't, it could melt their heart and turn them kinder.  It's a crap shoot on this one.  

(3) Forgetting things - I carry a tablet with me at all times.  When something comes into my head that I need to remember, I write it down immediately.  This is a great idea, except those times when I can't remember where I put my tablet. I'm not referring to an electronic tablet, but a writing tablet.  Some of you might not be familiar with them.  In that case, use your tablet.

(4) Itching -- I bought a back scratcher for the living room, one for the bedroom and one for work.  Just a suggestion:  Don't ask a loved one to scratch your back, because they suck at it.  They hate doing it and scratch in the wrong places so that you won't ask them to scratch you again.  Do yourself a favor and purchase back scratchers.  

(5) Regarding the moaning -- keep your mouth shut and use your inside moan voice.

Thank y'all for visiting my blog... please look around.  Love you guys!  I think you're awesome!  gammajill