Jan. 1, 2016

start the new year off laughing

How about we start 2016 off laughing!  My brother Moke found these jokes on the internet.  I laughed so hard, I peed my pants, seriously.  These are entitled Husband Jokes, the is author unknown.

1.My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night she used me to time an egg.

2.It’s tough to stay married.  My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

3.A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over.  There’s nobody home.”  I went over.  Nobody was home.”

4.The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked.  I asked him, “Why?” he said, “Because you came home early.

5.My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

6.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.

7.My family was so poor that if I hadn’t been born a boy, I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.  [sorry Ma]

8.I’m so ugly my mother had morning sickness AFTER I was born.

9.I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father.  He said he wanted more proof.

10.I’m so ugly, I once worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I’d get.

11.I went to the doctor because I had swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.  My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Happiness is huge, so I wish bunches of it to you and yours in 2016!  Please visit my blog often and leave comments, if you want to.  Love you guys!  If you like snarkiness, this is the place to find it.

You can read Moke’s articles at markhayterscolumn.blogstop.com 

Also my little brother Al Hayter plays a convenience store manager in the movie "Lost in the Sun"