Nov. 14, 2015

bless you

Why is it, when you are headed to the restroom, the urgency escalates the closer you get?

My Mom would be upset with me if she knew how many holes are in my underwear.

Wikipedia says:  In olden days, like around AD 77, folk belief was that a person’s soul could be thrown from their body when they sneezed, and that would open the body to invasion of evil spirits.  Saying ‘Bless You’ when you sneezed was said to protect you against the evil.    I was wondering... if you sneeze and no one is around to say ‘bless you,’ does it work if you bless yourself?

At work, when I’m listening to my music with my headphones, nobody comes by to talk to me as much. It might be because I dance in my chair while listening. Maybe dancing in a chair is not my forte and it keeps people away.  Let me ask you… could you sit still while listening to Crazy Train?  I think not.

Satisfaction is when you’re listening to one of those drug commercials with all the side-affects, you’re about to blow your brains out, and then you realize you have a mute button.

You’ve got the rudeness to ride on my bumper, but not the nards to pass me.  You weenee.