Sep. 27, 2015

It won't happen again

     When old farts pull out of Luby's, they do none of that looking left or looking right stuff before pulling out onto Center Street. No, no, there is only I'm through at this place, now I'm going to another place, and I'm off.  When they do this as you're coming down Center, you can honk if you'd like, but all you'd be doing is testing your horn, because the old fart is too busy telling the little woman how Luby's prepares blackened tilapia. 

The elderly old fart is oblivious to anyone else in the world except for himself, and he has been around for a long time, so feels he deserves utmost respect from the rest of us.

When I come upon an old fart, I will often come right out and say "You old fart," with no hiding the fact that I said it.  And I will often say a prayer, like, "Father please save us from this macaroon."  BUT, if he has a bumper sticker or a license plate signifying that he's a vet, I will pray, "Father, I thank this man for his service, but please save us from this macaroon.”  (I’m sorry.  Just joking. It won’t happen again. Bless his heart.)

There is also the young, old fart.  He most likely will be driving an extended cab truck or possibly a dually.  His vehicle is clean to the max, and he drives the way he pleases because he has been raised as if he were a king.  (I blame that on us/we parents, because we raised the idiot.) This guy is an aggressive driver not because he feels people owe it to him to step aside when he's around, but because he's simply an ars and thinks his stuff doesn't stink.  (I am sorry.  I apologize.  It will not happen again.)

Anyways.....I feel these young, old farts usually have a problem with their pee pee size.  (Again, I apologize.  That was so uncalled for.  I am sorry, and it won't happen again.)

When I experience these guys, I will say "You old fart." but I will say it as if I am a ventriloquist, because I'm not quite ready to leave this earth.  You see, the windows on their trucks are usually blackened, much like a tilapia at Luby's, so you don't know if the guy is aiming a rifle at you are merely mooning you.  Trust me; you do not want to know either way.

One more thing about old and young old farts, and this doesn't have to do with their stupid driving.....

I clarify that I am no grammarian (Yes this is a word.  I looked it up)...I can't spell and I'm the worst with punctuation, bless my heart.  BUT, I do know that library is not pronounced lie-berry, specific is not pronounced pacific and supposedly is not pronounced sa-pose-a-blee. (I'm sorry.  That was not necessary.  I apologize.  It won't happen again.")