Jan. 16, 2018

I wanted lasagna, so I went to the frozen entrees aisle. I couldn't find an individual-sized meatless lasagna, so I bought the Large Family Size Stouffer's Classics Five Cheese Lasagna.  Yes, I know it's a lot of lasagna! But I figured I could eat it over a week's time... well, maybe 5 days time... Oh who's kidding who? Being brutally honest, I give my family size cheesy lasagna 3 days. Hey! Stop judging me!  I don't judge how much you eat! Geez, back off fella!

I'm reading from the box the lasagna came in, and it states, "Thoughtful Portion = 1/7 Tray."  What the Hey! Now Stouffer's is judging me!!

When I think of lasagna, I think of "vegetable lasagna." Sienfeld fans know the funny in that.

 

I've been posting State Laws found on the internet. Here's some more of 'em. My responses are in brackets at the end of the law...

  In Louisiana - Jambalaya prepared in "the traditional manner" is not subject to typical sanitation regulations. According to the public health and safety codes, this Creole stir-fry, made with rice, meat, and vegetables, may be prepared for public consumption in the open, using iron pots and wood fires.

   In Mississippi - Using profanity in front of two or more persons in a public place might land you in the county jail for up to 30 days. Or you could pay a hefty fine to the state swear jar, no more than $100. [I would be willing to retire with that swear jar.]

     In West Virginia -- Don't attempt to substitute a hunting dog for a ferret in West Virginia. Anyone who hunts, catches, takes, kills, injures, or pursues a wild animal or bird with a ferret will face a fine of no less than $100 (but no more than $500) and no less than 10 (but no more than 100) days in jail. [Whoa, I'm thinking ferrets must be fierce!]

   In Kansas - There is an old law that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle. [Hmmm, a fad from the olden days... those crazy kids!]

  In Hawaii - Men from the Orakama tribe are not permitted to eat their second wife. [Well, this is just as kind as all get out. I hope they choke on their first one.]

        

I thank you all for visiting my blog and reading my silly stuff. I hope I cause a smile to come upon your face, or even a look of "What the heck is wrong with this girl?" is cool. I have fun posting stuff, and to those of you out there who get my sense of humor, well... you rock!

Jan. 5, 2018

Five Thoughts

1. Another reason I hate dark windows on vehicles is because… when the person in front of me is driving badly and I finally pull up next to them and turn to look, I miss out seeing what stupid looks like.

2. I’ve noticed that in the movies/TV, Vikings and the gods usually have a proper British accent.

3. I like James Franco, he’s okay.  To me, he always looks stoned.  Whether he’s happy or angry or sad, he looks stoned.  And what’s with that cheesy mustache?

Five State Laws (I found these on the internet, of course.)

1 In Oregon, leaving a container of urine or fecal matter on the side of the road is a Class A misdemeanor. And you can't throw it from the vehicle either.

2 In Missouri, if any bull or ram over the age of 1 year old runs rampant for more than three days, any person may castrate the animal without assuming liability for damage. Three town residents must attest in writing that the animal is loose, and its owner must fail to reclaim or confine the beast after notice is given.

3. In Idaho, cannibalism is strictly prohibited and punishable by up to 14 years in prison. But it's okay to "willfully ingest the flesh or blood of a human being" in life-or-death situations, if it's the only apparent means of survival.

The only state to declare cannibalism illegal, Idaho erected the ban in 1990 as a reaction to spreading fear that eating humans would pop-up in ritualized practices.

Dec. 29, 2017

I’m really good at exercise… watching. Every time I open Fb, there is a post from Go Fit Stay Fit. Their site is all about eating right and exercising.  I will watch every, single video they post. They are so inspiring.

The videos show arm exercises, core exercises, yoga poses and the proper way to do them for stress relief and better sleep, and other exercises that will help you better yourself. 

I am so focused on exercise… watching. I always grimace when squats or burpees or any movement done that involves using your knees is performed though.  Oweee! 

Yes, I am all about the bettering of myself, while exercise… watching.  I bet you that if I could lose a nanna pound for every post I’ve watched about exercise and staying fit, I’d be a goddess! No, I would be a Viking Princess Warrior Goddess! 

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Dec. 18, 2017

This is Santa's Village. I made it in the 80's. It's a sweet tradition to have it out each Christmas.

 

Scary Christmas Traditions

In Norway, there is no cleaning on Christmas Eve. All brooms are safely hidden away in case they’re stolen by witches and evil spirits.  [I like this tradition.]

Ukrainians forego tinsel and baubles, instead decorating their Christmas trees with an artificial spider web.  [This is weird.]

In Austria, children live in fear of Krampus – a Christmas devil who’s said to beat naughty children with branches. [Well that would suck!  Happy I don't live in Austria!]

In Iceland, the Yule Cat is said to stalk the Icelandic hills. Those who don’t receive new clothes before Christmas Eve are said to be devoured by this mythical beast.  [This isn't much good for poor people.  I’ve never cared much for cats.]

Guatemalans sweep out their houses before Christmas. Each neighborhood will then create a large pile of dirt, before placing an effigy of the devil on top, and burning it.  [Oh yes, the Sacrificing of the Dirt.]

Greece – The Kallikantzaroi is a race of evil goblins, who lurk underground. During the 12 days of Christmas, they surface and wreak havoc.  [I would not look forward to Christmas in Greece.]

In South Africa.  South African children are told the story of Danny, a young boy who angered his grandmother by eating the cookies that had been left for Santa. In the grandmother’s rage she killed Danny, and he is said to haunt homes at Christmas.  [WTH!  The poor little boy! I reckon this tradition would keep a grandchild in line though.]

 

Shoe Traditions

In Germany, children leave a shoe outside the house on December 5th, which is then filled with sweets overnight. Naughty children awake to find a tree branch in their shoe instead.  [I’m just wondering how the candy would taste after being in a shoe.]

Icelandic children leave a shoe on their bedroom windowsills during the 12 days of Christmas. Each night, it’s filled with sweets or gifts, ready to be enjoyed in the morning.  [You’d have to have a really big dang foot to get any good gifts!]

In the Czech Republic, unmarried women stand by a door and throw a shoe over their shoulder – if the toe is pointing towards the door when it lands, they will get married within the next year. [Well I wish I had received this memo! Holy cow, I’ve been throwing my shoe over the house!]

 

Stupid Traditions

In Germany, Germans hide a pickle in the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve – the first child to discover it in the morning receives a small gift.  [Aaah… yeah… oookay.]

In Slovakia, the most senior man of the house takes a spoonful of loksa pudding and throws it at the ceiling – the more that sticks, the better.  [The better what? And who is going to clean up the mess on the ceiling… well the most senior woman of the house of course! This tradition REALLY sucks!]

Sweden - tradition involves festive rice pudding. A peeled almond is hidden in the dessert, and the person who finds it will be married within a year.  [I don't believe I've ever peeled an almond, and don't believe I ever will.]

In Catalonia, a province of Spain, Catalonians have the Tio de Nadal, otherwise known as the “pooping log”. Decorated with a face and blanket, on Christmas Eve the log is placed halfway into a fire and beaten with sticks. [Okay, this one is too stupid and disgusting for me to comment.]

 

My Traditions

The Hayter Family gets together on a day before Christmas – the brothers and their families.  This year, we’ll be at my house having a spaghetti lunch.  We’ll visit and exchange gifts and talk about old times and trivia and movies and TV. 

A few days before Christmas, I’ll go to my son Jeff and Katie’s and spend the night with them. 

And Christmas Eve will be spent at the Asian Wok with my son Ethan and Deni, Faolan, Rowan, Varric, and Deni’s Mom Sondra and Robert.  After eating, we’ll go to E’s house and open presents.

Whatever your Christmas traditions are, I hope that you have fun with your family and friends!  I love you guys, and thank you so much for reading!

Dec. 10, 2017

I know that I mention this a lot, but it makes me angry at the site of cars that have windows as dark as the ones in this picture.  Why?  Why would anyone need to have windows that dark?  What if there is a child in this car being abducted and we can't do anything to help the little one, because we can't see inside the stupid car?  Like I've said before, unless you're a vampire, there is no good need for windows to be this dark.

 

   

  It's not me... it's you.

 

     

In real life, I often wish there was an "Undo Delete (Ctrl + Z)" button.

 

   

Even though Walmart is covered in Christmasy stuff, the Christmas spirit has not touched the hearts of many of its shoppers yet.  Don't believe I've ever seen so many aggressive, unpleasant, on a mission from God shoppers.  I'm pushing my cart and having to stop on a dime when someone burst out in front of me.  It pains my knees like crazy!  And the entire time I'm smiling away, trying to make eye contact, to see a pleasant person who has a return smile for me, but I'm not getting a return. 

Until, I see a sweet lady shaking her head from side to side as she looks at an alarm clock.  I was desperate to see sweetness in at least one person, so I pulled over to her and asked if she was having a tough time.  As she looked up, I heard the cutest laugh coming from her.  She told me how she was having a difficult time setting her alarm clock at home, and she was thinking of throwing hers away and finding one that was easier to operate.  We then discussed how old we were, and that we were both electronically challenged. 

While we were talking and laughing, another lady came up to us and said that she could help with setting the alarm, and that we should get a clock that shows the time on the ceiling, because she had one and loved it.  My first friend was amazed that they made such a clock.  I watched the two of them reading clock directions, it was cute. 

Before I walked away, I told them how happy I was to come across them, and that they had taken all the negativity out of my shopping experience for the day.  Told 'em I was searching for just one person to smile back at me, and instead I got two.  And they started saying we are all so blessed and that life is actually very nice.  My experience at Walmart was a very nice one, and I left the store with a broad smile on my face. 

And then, I reached my car... and there were birds covering the top of it and they were all over the top of the truck across from me.  I stopped quickly in my tracks (as my knees said ouch!) and saw a guy in the truck feeding the birds French fries.  I said, "What the ?" and started putting groceries in my car, as the birds swooped all around me.  Birds are cool, but I don't like it when they swoop all around me.  I got in my car as quickly as I could, and heard the click clicking of bird feet loudly on the car roof.  I thought when I shut the door that they would scatter away, but they didn't.  I suddenly felt like I couldn't wait to get back to the solitude of my home, where the only crazy person I want to hang with is me.